From Hero to Zero - modern dating

Single life is great. Being in a relationship is also great - obviously it needs to be a healthy one. One is that is good for your heart, mind and soul. But how do you go from single to being in a relationship?

Dating is daunting.

Ready to get out there? Kiss good, old fashioned courtship goodbye and good luck!

The thing with modern dating is that it seems to be some sort of a game. Have you heard about the rules? The love game became a business. Forget about meeting someone in real life, online dating is here, and apparently to stay. According to an article published on in 2018, the pursuit of romance is an industry worth 2.5 billion dollars in the USA alone. And it involves more than just dating websites, there are mobile apps, matchmakers services and wait for it - dating coaches!

I never knew people could actually make money coaching others on how to date. When and how did that happen? My grandmother, if alive, would have had a field day with this one. She was a very practical woman.

I was introduced to 'hot' dating coach Matthew Hussey through a friend - if you know who he is, don’t get too excited, I haven’t meet him in person - yet. My friend excitedly told me about his book, a New York Times best seller (How to get the Guy) and the videos he had on YouTube.This guy had something to offer, something all the single women wanted to know - he had information on how to get the guy - Ha this was like discovering a goldmine.

If buying his book wasn’t enough, I also went to see the man live at the O2 in London. I was completely in awe of him. He was even better in person - handsome, clever and funny. To my astonishment, all the seats were full, women of all ages and backgrounds came to see him talk (and I thought he was my secret).

Jeez he was ‘the man’ of the moment! Of course, everything he spoke and wrote about on the topic made perfect sense. However, trying to apply all this ‘new found information’ into the dating world became rather frustrating. What to say or do when a guy texts me this or that, how about if he doesn’t call, do I call him first? My head was exploding already. Rules and more rules.

The interesting thing is, what was supposed to help me, became a hurdle. Let me make this clear, whenever I thought I was ahead of the game (thanks to Matthew), something would happen that would threw me out of the course. Surprise, surprise, I was back at the start of the line and not at the finishing line.

Please, don’t get me wrong, his advise is great - 'have standards, be a woman of value, be confident'. If that is not great advice, I don’t know what is. The problem in dating when you are feeling vulnerable though is that is so easy to misinterpret the other person. It's like playing poker - you get hopeful and then you get nothing. Game over.

I cried on dates, I was stood up, the nice dude never called me back bla bla bla.

I got tired of it - modern dating sucks. My love affair with Matthew Hussey ended - amicably. It wasn’t fun anymore. I cursed and cursed - I shall die known as the cat lady.

I had enough - Fuck this shit!

I took Hussey's words to the core - 'stop investing in people that are not investing in you!'

Tired of the dating scene yet?

"You deserve the world even if it means giving it to yourself". - r.h. Sin

Photo by Eugene Chystiakov

Photo by Yolanda Sun

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London - England

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